On a rainy Wednesday night in downtown Manhattan, 25 women attended my workshop on “How to Become a Magnet for a Quality Man.” They could spend their time, energy and money elsewhere but they made a decision to be at that event and some of them chose to step up and take that training further. That’s what I admire about women who are open, ready and committed to find love.

Do you want to attract a “quality man?” Does it feel like it never happens?

If you are still making excuses like “There are no good guys out there” or “It’s hard to date where I live”, then you got to think about what’s going to change in your life if you continue thinking the same way. Because your actions (or lack of thereof) are a reflection of your thoughts.

It was shocking to see close to 90% of attractive, smart and successful women in the room raising their hands when I asked them “How many of you meet 0 or 1 new men in an average week?” The other 10% meet about 2-3 which is still too few to find the right man quickly.

Imagine how long it will take you to find the right man at that speed! 5-10 years? Forever?

What really disturbs me is that many women deny themselves opportunities to meet new men, improve their dating skills and resolve inner blocks that get in their way. Even though they know that the things they are doing on their own haven’t been working.

Why is that? I hear the same thing all the time.

“I don’t have time”, and

“I can’t afford it.”  

Here is the deal. You might believe it’s about time or money but in reality, it’s about something much deeper. It’s about deserving. It’s about trusting. It’s about making a commitment.  I struggled and was stuck for a long time waiting for something to change. Time passed by and things remained the same. I kept waiting and waiting. Until I finally realized that nothing was going to change in my love life magically until I changed something within myself. I vowed to never be “cheap” with myself.

So I made a commitment to invest into myself and create a great life. I asked myself “How can I afford it?” and looked for support in the right mentors and like-minded community.  Once I started treating myself like I was deserving everything I wanted…Once I started trusting that I can have it 100% and it’s just a matter of time…Once I made a massive commitment to do whatever it takes and made a significant investment (at that time it seemed significant)…It was only when that I saw an instant shift in my dating experiences and results in my love life.

So, when you hear yourself say that you don’t have time or can’t afford something, ask yourself different kinds of questions:

“How can I make time for what really matters to me?”, 

“How can I afford it?”, and 

“What will it cost me if I do nothing/keep doing the same thing?”

Create opportunities and make decisions that will change your life once and for all.

Do you agree?

Do you disagree?


Share your thoughts on my blog or via email at coaching@findloveandkeepit.com

Polina Solda

Dating Expert and Certified Coach
New York, NY