Because it’s Memorial Day weekend, I bet you probably have some special plans.
Over the years, our family has created many traditions around the holidays. One of them is going to a boating party to watch the U.S. Navy Blue Angels air show in Long Island (here’s a pic of the planes in the air) .
If you have plans with friends and/or dates this weekend, that’s great.
But if you don’t, I get it. Maybe you haven’t gone out for a while because of family, health, work or other issues. Or you’re sort of seeing someone, but have no plans this weekend. Whatever situation you’re in, I encourage you to stay open and keep going. You just don’t know what may happen next!
Now, for the moment that something great happened exactly 9 years ago.
It was a sunny Friday afternoon. A guy I was seeing for about a month (let’s call him D) picked me up in his Mercedes convertible to go to the Hamptons for Memorial Day weekend. It was our first “total immersion” experience. The plan included staying at Sag Harbor, dining at the iconic American hotel there, and going to a party where David Guetta was performing. You might think, “Wow, Polina, this sounds really nice,” and that’s exactly what I thought. But as the weekend progressed, things quickly changed.
Minutes after I got into his car, D called on a speaker-phone to his office and yelled at his secretary for not answering right away. It didn’t matter that I had heard. What a jerk move on his part! But they kept coming. That night, we ended up going to another party (sorry, David Guetta) because his friends wanted to — it didn’t matter to D that I was disappointed. We stayed until the club closed, because he and his friends had paid for a VIP table — it didn’t matter to D that I was exhausted and wanted to leave. The next morning I ended up walking into the town and having breakfast alone because he didn’t eat breakfast — it didn’t matter to D that I didn’t know the area, and didn’t have a car. You get the picture.
Although on the outside it may look like a glamorous Memorial Day weekend, I was miserable. By Sunday night, I decided that I’d rather be alone than be with someone who doesn’t care about me, my feelings, needs and desires. So, I let go of him emotionally and mentally.
But…I didn’t allow D to make me lose my faith, hope and heart’s desire for love.
I didn’t beat myself up, blame him and stop putting myself out there. And, I didn’t listen to my single girlfriend who thought D was “a great catch,” based on his looks and money. I had clarity on how I wanted to feel and be treated, and faith I’d meet the right man eventually.
Just five days later, I was at a steakhouse happy hour, having drinks with this guy named Paul.
Honestly, I didn’t feel like going. As a vegetarian for 20+ years, I don’t even like steakhouses. But I went anyway.
Fast-forward to about a month later, I was back in the Hamptons. But this time it was a “heaven on Earth” experience, because I was with a man who adored and cherished me (here’s us celebrating our first July 4th together in Sag Harbor).
Yes, you guessed it, Paul is my husband, and it’s 9 years (next week, to be exact!) since we met. My destiny was shaped then (even though I had no idea).
If I was still hanging on to D, trying to make it work, Paul and I wouldn’t have met.
If I was staying at home alone, feeling hopeless, we wouldn’t have met.
Two things really made the difference:
I said “No” to someone who wasn’t right for me – even though it meant going back to square one.
I said “Yes” to moving on, being open and going out – even if it meant doing everything all over again.
The reason I share this with you is because I want to make sure you don’t say “Yes” to the wrong person or the wrong opportunity, just because they are there in front of you. And, to make sure you don’t say “No” to someone or something amazing that can completely change your life.
What are you saying “Yes” to?
What are you saying “No” to?
The point is, no matter what your plans are this weekend and what your CURRENT dating/love life looks like, know that your man is near.
Align to your vision, to your heart’s desire, be intentional about who and what you say “Yes” or “No” to, and keep taking actions that open new doors for you.
It might be a surprising, ironic and unexpected door — like meeting your future husband at a steakhouse although you’re a vegetarian. What matters is being READY for it.
Please comment here and let me know what resonated with you, and what one thing you’ll do now that will move you towards your vision for your love life.
Have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend!