Exactly 11 years ago, I walked into a steakhouse on Park Avenue (just a block away from where I lived) for a drink before meeting my friends at a party. When I sat down at the bar, a bartender approached me with, “That gentleman across the bar is asking if he can buy you a drink.”
My instant response was, “Tell him if he wants to buy me a drink, I’d be delighted if he comes and offers it to me personally.”
And smiled with a wink at a guy sitting across the bar.
A couple of minutes later he was standing next to me and teasing that he didn’t expect that response and I was “a challenge.” I laughed saying, “the best is yet to come.”
OMG, was I right!
That guy’s name was Paul.
He’s my husband, father of our 7-year old son, and the love of my life.
We’ve created a dream relationship, family, and life together.
What’s the secret?
That first interaction can sum up the nature of our relationship.
He’s pursuing me.
I’m expressing my desires.
He puts an effort to fulfill them.
We’re being playful with each other.
Yes, even 11 years later.
Are you thinking, “Polina, I don’t believe it can be so simple and easy…”?
Yes, it can be.
It can only work with your perfect dual match.
And I don’t mean “the One” you can spend your entire life searching for.
“The soulmate” you get “lucky” to meet once in a lifetime.
I’m talking about a specific type of man (there are millions of men in that type) who’s your perfect dual partner.
Different from you…yet complementary & compatible.
You see, as a strong, ambitious, successful woman I’ve spent years searching for a man who’d be even stronger, more ambitious, successful than I.
Needless to say, I “failed.”
Strong, alpha men I was attracted to weren’t attracted to me.
(Can you relate?!)
In fact, if you think about that bar scene…A powerful, bold, bossy man who calls all the shots wouldn’t even bother to approach me (“Who does she think she is?” type of thinking).
Funny, it would end before it even started.🤣
But…the same scenario would be the perfect beginning of an exciting love story worth telling to others… if it was the perfect dual partner. The type who’s different from your type. Who’s light, playful, and fun. Who doesn’t take things too seriously? Who’ll play a game and tease you (as a way to get back at you)? Who’ll accept you exactly who you are (in fact, will brag about how smart, successful, and cool you are!)
So, if you’re a type-A woman like me, these 4 steps can shift everything for you:
- Stop looking for a stronger man – it’s not going to work because he isn’t looking for a clone of himself in a woman.
- Stop trying to change yourself to be someone you are not – I’m talking about following cookie-cutter advice of other “dating gurus” to be someone you are not (“more of this here”, “less of this there” type of thing.)
- Start looking for your perfect dual partner – different yet complementary.
- Start owning who you are – unapologetically! Yes, with all of your power, ambition, and success (who runs the 🌍?!!)
My husband isn’t an easy type of man to be with for other types of women.
Prior to meeting me in his 40s, he had 3 broken engagements and never married.
All men value freedom and want to have fun but his type much MORE than all others.
The only type of woman he could ever commit to would be the one with whom he would have even more FUN, even more FREEDOM, and feel even more ALIVE with than without her.
He found his perfect match.
And, proposed on our 6th month dating anniversary.💍
That’s the power of perfect dual partners.
You don’t need to be someone you aren’t.
You don’t need to be “more” or “less” or anything.
You don’t need to adjust, tolerate & settle for less than you want.
I’ll be sharing more about different types of women and men, perfect dual partners, and SO more in the coming weeks so keep an eye on my blog posts.
Meanwhile, let me know what comments or questions you have so far.