DATING

Last Saturday I went to a fashion week show with my girlfriends. The show was o.k. but what was way more interesting to me is the fashion after-party.

Why? Because I love people watching.

The place we were invited to was perfect for that. Called Beautique, it’s a small private lounge in the back of an upscale restaurant. The place was packed with staff from the fashion week, models and well dressed, handsome looking men. Watching how those guys were easily approaching women, inviting them to get a drink at their table and then moving with them to the dance floor made me think about a well-orchestrated play.

Well, it turns out, there’s a technique that some men use to create instant intimacy with a woman. It comes from pick-up artists (PUA) —guys whose goal is to seduce a woman and get quick access to sex.

So, how do players get a typical woman to sleep with a guy she just meet (something she would never do)?

Here’s what a player who wants nothing but sex does… He simply asks a girl he just met to move from one area of a club/party to another multiple times.

It can look like this…

He met you in a crowd and asked you to dance so he moved with you to the dance floor. Next, he offered you a drink and moved with you to the bar. Next, he invited you to meet his friend and moved with you to the opposite corner of the club. Next, he suggested to get some fresh air and moved with you outside of the club. Next, he offered you another drink and moved with you back to the bar. Next, he said that the place is too loud and suggested to have drinks at the lounge area so he moved with you to the next room. Next, he said his friend just texted him about a better/more fun party in another place and invited you to join him so he moved with you out of the club into a cab…

You get the idea.

It might seem insignificant and innocent—he just MOVES with you from one place to another. He might not even try to touch you (although many will hold your hand as they walk with you around.) Yet, on a subconscious level this process builds intimacy and trust between the two people. There is a powerful psychology that anchors this technique.

By the end of a night, after you had more than enough drinks and enjoyed a deep conversation with him (ah, so different from a boring chat with an “average” guy), it feels like there’s a real connection and you’ve known him for a long time (we “travel with” and follow people we like and trust). Then, it’s likely that you’ll say “Yes” to the next place he wants to move to with you.

You guessed it, it’s likely to end up in his or your bed–kind of “just happened in the moment.”

It sounds sleazy but it works like crazy. I’ve watched girls among our friends meet a guy in a club, hangout with him in different parts of the club for a period of time and finally return to our table only to grab her stuff as that guy was waiting for her to leave with him (no, he wasn’t approaching our table because he wasn’t interested in meeting her friends.)

Watch out for those players. If he isolates you from your friends, knows exactly the right words to say that make you feel really connected and moves you around the place, you’ve been warned!

I would love to hear about your  experience. Have you had something similar happen to you? How did you handle it? Please respond by leaving a comment below.

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