Yes, yes, and yes! Let your date know you have kids on your first date. If your date can’t accept the fact that you have kids then this is a red flag that you should not go on a date with this person.  Your kids are part of who you are, if your date has a problem with this then they have a problem with you.

Kenneth says to himself, I really like Sharon, and I know she is single and has no kids cause I overheard her tell her trainer Irene at the gym that she doesn’t. I really want to ask her out on a date, but I have four kids that I’m raising on my own and I don’t think she’ll like me when she finds out.  I’m not sure what I should do.

Sharon says to herself, there’s this guy I met at the gym his name is Kenneth. I really like him, he always seems to know the right things to say and is so polite! I’d really like to go out with him. I just don’t think he’ll go out with me. I’m feeling guilty because I lied to my trainer Irene the other day and told her that I don’t have any kids. I actually have three children. I told Irene this out loud so Kenneth could hear what I said and maybe he might want to date me. I’m not sure what I should do now. I’d really like to go out with Kenneth. I just don’t know how I should tell him about my kids.

How do I go about telling my date about my kids? You can tell your date about your kids by using some of these tips:

  • Invite your date to pick you up for your date at your home and introduce them to your kids.
  • Consider making a meal for your date at your home and have your kids take part in the meal.  This is the perfect opportunity for you to introduce you date to your kids.
  • During your date while making conversation, let your date know you have children. Also take the opportunity to find out if your date has children as well.
  • If you correspond with your date via telephone or email prior to seeing each other in person, let your date know you have kids.

You say I told my date that I have kids and they don’t want to go on another date with me, what should I do? Do nothing consider yourself lucky that you found out that your date does not like kids. You didn’t need to be with that person anyway. Good iterance to them. Just move on! Date someone who will accept you and your kids, that’s more important.

The sooner you let your date know you have kids the sooner you can get past this issue if it becomes a problem.  The whole idea of dating is to date someone you are compatible with and who will want you for who you are no matter if you have children!

Polina Solda
Dating Expert and Certified Coach
New York, NY

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