BREAKUPDATINGRELATIONSHIPS

Can you imagine going on 100+ dates?

You might say, “Gee, Polina, just thinking about it makes me feel exhausted.”

How about going on 100s+ dates with the SAME GUY?

Yup, it’s exactly what I’ve done!

You see, today is a very special day for me, because it’s exactly 9 years since Paul and I went on our FIRST DATE.

The actual first time we met doesn’t count because, technically, it wasn’t a date–we just had quick drinks at a steakhouse happy hour a few days earlier.

It’s the strategy that I teach my clients: leverage your time (meaning you have plans before or after the first meeting), keep it short and leave a man wanting more. Think about it. When you’re clear about what you want and highly value your time, 30 minutes is enough time to enjoy a glass of wine, see if you have fun and decide if you want to see him again.

So, June 1, 2009, was our first date, which wasn’t boring and typical like meeting for drinks (this works for the initial encounter but is passe after that).

This brings me to this point: if you’re bored with your first dates, then bring in creativity, self-expression and excitement into the experience and see how it will shift.

We ended up leaving Manhattan and going to the beach in Long Island for the afternoon. You may say, “Wait, it’s too much [too far/too risky/too fill-in-the-blank]. I don’t even know the guy.”

But that’s exactly the point-if you feel uncomfortable, it’s actually a good sign. It means you’re breaking the routine and stepping outside of your comfort zone. I’m not saying you should do something unsafe–it’s about doing different things.

Speaking of safety, we met at the Empire State Building, so I knew where he works. He had to drop his briefcase at home, so I knew where he lives. Before we officially started a date, I had more information about this man than most women know about someone they date for a month.

We spent an afternoon on the beach just BEING-playful, silly, flirtatious, joyful, effortless and FREE.

Paul showed me a part of New York that was unfamiliar and exciting to me. I showed him how to swing at a kid’s playground, and that was fun for both of us. 

There was no pressure of what to say, how to act and who pays the bill.

We had such a great time that by the time he dropped me off at my home, we already had plans for the next date.

 

(Paul took this pic on our first date)

The significance of the first date is HUGE because the impression you make on each other leaves the imprint for a long time (even a lifetime).

In fact, one of  the many rituals we created  is to celebrate on the 1st of every month, to honor our first date. It could be as simple as saying “Happy anniversary!” and setting an intention for the month.

Crazy — but today is our 108th time celebrating that first date!

Today is also special because we’re recreating our first date just like it was 9 years, by going to that beach in Long Island. It’s still about being in the moment and having fun–except at the end of the night, we’ll go to OUR home TOGETHER.

That’s the kind of first dates I want you to create – special, memorable and fun. The kind of first dates that lead to higher attraction, deeper connection, and even lasting love.

You have a lot to say in creating that kind of experience and making sure you’ll have fun.

To inspire you and create more value, I listed my suggestions and resources (based on NYC, but you can search for similar ones in your area).

*****Relevant Resources*****

Here are my top ideas on where to go and what to do for your first date:

-> Go on a bike ride (citibikenyc.com)

-> Go to an interactive experience (https://www.visitdreammachine.com)

-> Take a cooking class (https://www.eataly.com/us_en/classes-and-events)

-> Go to a poetry reading (https://www.poetryproject.org)

-> Take a sailing lesson (https://sailmanhattan.com)

-> Go for a romantic walk (www.thehighline.org)

-> Volunteer (https://www.newyorkcares.org)

-> Go to a jazz club (http://jazzstandard.com)

-> Have a picnic (www.centralparknyc.org)

-> Go to an art gallery (art-collecting.com/galleries_ny_chelsea.htm)

-> Take a dancing class (https://arthurmurray.com)

-> Go to a beach (https://www.discoverlongisland.com/listings/beaches)

Which one are you excited about the most?

When will you go on your first date?

Let me know what’s been most valuable to you from what I shared, leave a comment on my blog.