I’m 33 and over the years I’ve received so many compliments from men about how fun and full of life I am. I’ve been dating for a while and there were some really great guys in my past. We’d always go out on a few dates and everything would be fine until they just called me less and less frequently and eventually disappeared. Would you believe I haven’t had a relationship that has lasted over 6 months since I was 21? I never really looked into what was going wrong because those guys had always told me I was beautiful and fun – so I just put it down to it being their problem and not mine. I thought ‘to hell with them…it’s their loss not mine”.
My late 20’s till now were spent going from boyfriend to boyfriend. I didn’t really care how long our relationship would last because I thought, “ok, whatever, next please. “As I grew older…I started to wonder. I saw my best friend fall in love and get married and I decided to do something differently. When it came to my love life I no longer wanted to have those “dead-end” dating scenarios. I wanted to find out what I did or didn’t do to create the same kind of disappointing outcomes with every man I dated. But my problem was that while I knew how to attract men, I had no idea how to keep them.
It’s been 3 months now since I started working with Polina and I can honestly say that every session has created some kind of breakthrough for me. I realized that I never really picked men based on my values and needs. It was more like a man would pick me and I would go with it regardless of whether he was right for me or not. If there was chemistry, I was open and ready to jump into a relationship. Also, I realized that I’ve been too needy and clingy with men. My constant need to control things and know what’s going on at all times has been a real turn off to men I’ve dated. I’ve made mistakes that I haven’t even realized were mistakes before. For instance, I would be the one texting and checking on a guy. I would call him when he didn’t call me when I thought he “should” call. Polina has guided me personally to shift the way I perceive men and how I come across on dates. Polina’s caring and passionate about her work and I love her enthusiasm and positive energy, not to mention her positive outlook on life in general and love. I’ve become less anxious and stressed over the last few months. I don’t allow myself to chase after men now and catch myself when I’m about to “run my old pattern” as my coach says.
The funny thing is that now a couple of those guys I’ve dated last year have re-appeared and want to get together. And, as a matter of fact, I’ve reconnected with an old friend who’d I’d never even looked at in a romantic way in the past. We’ve been friends for a few years and really “get” each other on the level that I haven’t had with any of those short-lived 6-month relationships. We are also on the same page about our future plans – he’s openly talking about wanting to have family and kids after he gets residency. We’re both from the West Coast and plan to move back. I’m seriously considering the possibility of dating him. This time I’ll make sure to avoid mistakes that I’ve made in the past.