It drives me crazy when women do this: believe that love will come when you least expect it or, another version of this belief, that love magically happens.

Here’s why…(keep reading and or watch this video)

When you think that meeting the right man JUST happens, you get many benefits from this way of thinking. There’s nothing you need to do to meet him, so you end up doing nothing. No need to hire a dating coach to uncover blind spots, get out of your comfort zone and be accountable for moving towards what you want. No need to dress up, go out and talk to strangers.

But the problem with this belief is huge, though, because:

For every moment you believe love just happens and do nothing, you lose an opportunity to create the love life of your dreams.

A couple of days ago I talked to Barb, a 53-year-old successful attorney. She hasn’t gone on a single date in over 15 years. She spends most of her time at work. Although her clients LOVE HER, every night she goes to bed alone, wishing she had a loving man by her side. When I asked her what was the worst about believing and relying on love to just happen, she simply said, “Wasted time.”

I get it that when we’re in our 20s, it’s MUCH easier to meet someone, fall in love and live happily ever after (well, 50% of the time, according to the U.S. statistics on divorce for that age bracket). But, as we grow older, we have fewer opportunities to meet people and fewer available quality men to chose from. You’ll definitely meet more single guys as a 20-something college student versus as a 40-something manager working from home. Because of this reality, you can’t afford to rely on a limiting belief that disempowers and sabotages you.

If it was true for the majority of women, you’d already be in the loving arms of your Mr. Right, who “accidentally” met you by delivering something you’ve ordered right to your front door.

What we choose to believe determines the kind of results we create in our lives.

When I was dating after divorce, I believed that I would do whatever it takes to find love again and would not quit until it’s no longer “I,” but “we.” Now, when I’m happily married to the man who adores me even more than when we met almost 9 years ago, I believe that you can make love inevitable. A lot depends on what you think, say and do about finding love.

Please post a comment below and let me know what you believe about how love happens.