I hope you are staying warm and cozy if you live in New York. I’d usually encourage you to get out of the house, do things and meet people but today is an exception.

We just got back from a ski/boarding trip in Colorado and there’s more snow in NYC today than we had in 10 days in the mountains!

On a snowy day like this, it’s a perfect opportunity to stay in with a good book. That’s why I am going to share this inspirational book “The Daily Love: Lessons Learned on a Journey from Crisis to Grace” by Mastin Kipp. It’s a story of a 20-something guy who started sharing daily love messages from the *x* room in the pool house of his ex-girlfriend’s parents.

Mastin shares his life journey of how he moved from Kansas to Hollywood, became a Senior Vice President of a top recording company at the age of 21, became a drug addict, lost everything, turned his life around with and got on Oprah’s talk show.

His mission is to connect people back to what makes them happy. He’s come a long way and has learned the lessons that are worth passing on. That’s why I want to share key highlights of the book with you.

Love is an unconditional acceptance of “what is.” It’s the CHOICES you make.

Purpose is a “gift;” finding and giving it is the most important thing to do in a lifetime.

Spirituality is a measure of how loving you are, and how unconditionally accepting you are towards yourself and others.

“Success is what happens to you when you survive all of your mistakes,” which is a quote from Mastin’s dad.

Key point #1: You don’t know something until you are doing it.” Think of how this can apply in your love life. It’s not enough to intellectually know something. If it isn’t something you act on, it’s useless.

Imagine a woman who wants to find love by reading all the books she can find about dating, love and relationships. She knows ABOUT the best experts’ secrets and strategies to find love. But if she isn’t going out to meet men, isn’t dating and isn’t open to love and being in a relationship, then she doesn’t really know it because she isn’t doing it.

Key point #2: Be “Selfish” which means the ability to set good boundaries, focus on self-care and fill yourself up so you can serve others in great ways. By being in your own power, you can fully be yourself.

Think of a time when you’ve accepted a certain behavior that was unacceptable or when you have put someone else’s needs ahead of your own. How did it make you feel? If we aren’t expressing our needs and desires, we are doing a disservice both to ourselves and others. Yet, we have access to our own power through the choices we make.

“Never abandon yourself to please another.”

Key point #3: “You Are the One Getting in Your Own Way.” Our mind is an incredible tool that allows us to look for only what we want to see.

Ask yourself, “What am I looking for?”

This is a good question because it can help you uncover some hidden mental blocks that have been getting in your own way.

Your beliefs determine your reality.

You might have heard about confirmation bias that is a tendency to search for, interpret or recall information in a way that confirms your beliefs.

Imagine a woman who believes she can’t find a quality man; her underlining belief is, “There are no quality men out there.” It’s something she has believed for a long time. Even if I put her in a room filled with high-caliber men, she would search for and FIND something that confirms her beliefs.

In fact, I’ve experienced it firsthand when I went out to a happy hour with a girlfriend who’s been single for 5 years. Within minutes after we walked into a lounge packed with people, she looked disappointed and said “It’s going to be boring here. I don’t see anyone.” Guess what happened that night… Right, she went home disappointed and bored.

Key point #4: “Invest in Yourself.”

I loved this quote,

“Be willing to live a few years how most people won’t so that you can live the rest of your life how most people can.”

What if you commit 100% towards always being in a state of expansion and growth?

What if you invest in yourself and your future life?

What if you work with the mentor who’s already gotten to where you want to be?

Imagine if you uncover and change patterns that have been holding you back. You’ll have the power and ability to take risks you haven’t taken before. You’ll no longer feel stuck, blocked and less fulfilled. You’ll no longer play small.

Instead, you’ll discover that you are so much more than you think you are.

Key point #5: “Become Friends with Uncertainty and Take Massive Action.” 

Look, you’ll always be faced with uncertainty and fears.

But if you are committed, invested and guided, you’ll learn how to become friends with uncertainty and take massive action while having the courage to truly feel through your fears.

Tony Robbins says,

“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationship to uncertainty.”

Once you embrace uncertainty as inevitable part of life, you’ll become unstoppable. You’ll create your life by design and other people will think that you just got “lucky.” But you know that what’s underneath of all the success that shows up in the quality of life you live is deep inner work that enabled you to get there.

What’s the biggest takeaway for you? Share with me your “a-ha” moment.

I look forward to getting your reply.

Polina Solda
Dating Expert and Certified Coach
New York, NY

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