I have a mini-quiz for you…

What do you think is the most important ATTRACTION factor?

A: Confidence
B: Physical attraction
C: Positive attitude
D: Femininity

They all sound important.

But…Without positive attitude it’s nearly impossible to attract and keep the man you want.

Recently I had a conversation with a successful man who runs some of the best night clubs in Manhattan. He’s single and constantly surrounded by attractive women, and he dates like crazy. When I asked why he keeps dating so many different women, his answer wasn’t what you might be thinking [sex?]. He said: “I can’t stand it when women complain and bitch about things. It’s a major turn off. So many of these women become needy, insecure, demanding and controlling. When it happens I just move on.”

He’s got a point. Negative attitude is the biggest killer of attraction. 

You might have gone on a first date and made a seemingly insignificant remark like, “Oh, you’re lucky to have your own business. I hate my job.” Or “Oh, my life is really boring compared to yours. I don’t get to do what I want.”

Then, you never hear from him again.

This is something you can instantly change by becoming more aware of what you say and do.

Here’s a challenge for you:

For the next 24 hours, try to have a complain-free attitude. This means that you won’t complain about anything—weather, traffic, boss, weight, online dating, men…

If you notice yourself saying something negative like:

“I hate it when…”
“I am so pissed at…”
“I am really angry because…” 

—start over. Reset the time and commit to the next 24 hours. Do it again and again.

I’ve got tons of ways to help develop a more positive attitude, but again it’s about baby steps. So start by simply noticing what you’re saying to yourself and others.

Trust me, I get where you might be now. You are sick of dating losers and players. You don’t want to waste your time. You are tired of being alone. And you don’t want to keep searching forever.


If you let negative thinking get over you, it instantly kills attraction and the self-sabotaging cycle continues.

You stay single and keep looking. Or, worse, you stay single and keep waiting.

Don’t let it happen to you. Challenge yourself to look for something that wasn’t there before. Focus on the positive aspects of your life. Bring it into your dating experiences.

Let me know how it works for you. ​

Polina Solda
Dating Expert and Certified Coach
New York, NY

You’re About To Discover “Top Secrets
to Attracting and Meeting Quality Men”