When I talk to a single woman who wants to find love and ask her how she feels about dating, I usually get responses like:
“Oh, I’m so tired of dating. It’s so much work!”
“Dating is so confusing and frustrating. It’s just a waste of time.”
Or, like an email I received from someone another day saying, “I’ve been single for years. There are just NO GOOD MEN out there so what’s the point?”
I totally get how you feel. If you know my story, you heard that I’ve gone on 100+ dates in less than a year. It sounds like a lot of time and effort but…I met my husband and all that time and effort were SO worth it.
Now, it isn’t about the numbers. Dating isn’t JUST the numbers game (if it was, everyone who’s gone on a bunch of dates would be happily married now.)
The little known secret is in your attitude.
Let’s do a quick test…Think about a date that’s coming up tonight or this weekend (hope you have at least one date planned this week.)
When you think about it, what thoughts come to your mind?
Pick one of the two categories that resonates best with you:
“Oh, it probably will be another boring/bad date.”
“The guy is probably a player and just wants to have sex.”
“It will be a waste of my time. Just like the past few dates.”
“I’m excited to wear my new dress, look my best and hear him say that I look better in real life than in an online profile.”
“I can’t wait to check out that new lounge/gallery/sushi bar. He did a great job in picking a place for our date.”
“I’ll have a lot of fun tonight. Am curious to find out about this guy and talk about our common passions.”
Here’s the deal…
If you picked category #1, your attitude has already blocked you from creating and tapping into a possibility of finding love.
If you heard anything about the law of attraction, you know that each of us projects energy into the real world.
Guess what? A man might have no clue about it but he’ll subconsciously pick up on your energy.
If your energy and attitude on the date are negative, it’s like an invisible block that stands between you and a man who could be the One for you.
That’s how critically important it’s to become aware of this so that you can break the negative pattern.
Now, if you’re like me and picked category #2, then dating is going to be fun and easy for you (most of the time.) If you’re open and can list 10 reasons about why you’re excited about your next date, you’re more likely to show up as your best self and connect with a guy.
Personally, when I dated my attitude was this: Men are like books and I love to read. I was curious “to read the first few pages and flip through the book” (e.g. “go on a first date and talk with a new man.”) If I didn’t like a book, I put it back on a shelf and picked another one.
The difference is that in dating you also get experience so much—from having a reason to put on your new outfit to enjoying a meal to sharing your dating experience with your friends or your love coach.
Now I have a question for you. What do you need to create a real shift in your attitude and energy about dating?
Let me know about your experience and results.