DATINGRELATIONSHIPS

If you value monogamy, I bet you want to be in a committed loving relationship with a man who’s loyal to you. Yet, the probability of him cheating on you exists as long as he’s alive. Men are men! That being said, there are specific ways in which you can minimize a chance that it would ever happen.

Here are my top 5 ways to prevent him from cheating:

1. Optimize your environment. What I mean by that is, reduce or completely eliminate situations that would enable him to hook up with another woman. For instance, in my relationship, we have an agreement to always travel together. I get it that there are situations out of your control, like when he has to travel for work and you are working on an important project at your office. Yet, there are predictable situations that you can avoid, such as him going for a few days to Miami to play golf with his buddies. My husband is an avid golfer, but he chooses never to go on those “fun, guys-only” trips by choice. We travel as a family and his golf clubs come along. So I never have to wonder if he drank too much and met some easy-going chick at his hotel’s bar.

2. Intensify his attraction towards you. When I go to visit my family and friends in my hometown of Moscow, Russia, I notice a big contrast between single and married women. Younger single women look like models–skinny, makeup, high heels–even when they go to the grocery! However, older, married women tend to be self-neglecting, wearing baggy clothes and slouching as they carry heavy shopping bags. It seems like marriage gives some women a license to let their appearance go however, every woman has a choice. The reality is, it’s even more important to look irresistible and attractive after you get into a relationship.

Novelty, infatuation and initial excitement only work for a short time. But once they fade away, you want to give your man many reasons to say, “Wow, I’m so lucky to be with you,” for years afterward. Sure, that requires work. For example, when I was single and dating, I used to go on 4 or 5 dates a week, which meant lots of drinking and eating out. My husband fell in love with me when I was 10 pounds heavier than I am now. Working out and getting into the best shape paid off because of today, 9 years later, he keeps telling me how much better/skinnier/younger I look than I did then. It’s worth it to keep in good shape. The point of this example is not to lose weight but to become better version of yourself. If fewer pounds mean more energy and better health, drop them.

3. Appreciate him A LOT. When you go on dates with a man you like, you probably send him thank-you texts, reciprocate his efforts by cooking him dinners at your home and make him feel on top of the world in the bedroom. Men are expected to do the same things in a relationship. Interestingly, when I am nostalgic I watch Russian dramas, most of which focus on cheating (it’s accepted in Russian culture that men, especially wealthy and successful men, will cheat). Predictably, the movie typically starts with a business colleague, secretary or old love who appreciates a man in a way his wife doesn’t.

Remember, just because a man committed to being with you forever, doesn’t mean he can be taken for granted, or that he will actually stick around.

For example, in restaurants, I see a lot of couples who are already in a relationship. Surprisingly, I don’t often hear or see a woman expressing her appreciation for her man by, for example, paying the bill.

So, be different. Choose to perceive things he does for you as something really special and amazing. For example, put your hand on his knee and gently caress his leg while he’s pulling out his credit card. He will be surprised, and probably delighted. When he pays the bill, give him a look that tells him something special is awaiting him once you get home. Trust me, he’ll keep talk.

4. Advance on every level. As a successful professional woman, it’s likely that you continue to learn new things to enhance your career. Guess what? The same principle applies in your personal life. So, become a one-of-a-kind woman who’s a total 10 for him, no matter if you’re on a hiking trail or in the bedroom. When you get into a relationship, invest your time, energy and resources into becoming the best version of yourself Take Italian cooking, interior design or sensual dancing classes (there’s usually something in it for him, too–a meal, a beautiful home or a lap dance!).

Would you take an evening course if it helped you get a promotion? I bet you would. Well, the same thing goes for your love life. There are classes on everything from how to apply a natural makeup that makes you radiant, to giving him mind-blowing pleasure. When you reach a certain level of mastery, there’s rarely competition, so cheating never a problem.

5. Become indispensable to him. What most men (especially those who are financially successful) crave is not just a pretty woman by his side or a wife to cook and take care of the children. Men look for a partner and best friend who really “gets” them. For instance, let’s say he’s a hedge fund manager who daily deals with volatile markets and carries a huge financial responsibility for his clients. If his wife who has no clue about what he does every day and instead only talks about superficial things like her new Chanel purse or a trendy restaurant she wants to go to, he’ll have to find someone else to discuss his business affairs with. It’s a cliché scenario in movies where a successful man cheats on his wife with his secretary who is with him daily in the trenches of the business world. It’s a natural progression that he would bond with her, based on what he’s wired to do a deep primal level: make money. Bring home the bacon. Fight the dragons (or, at least, his opponents in the courtroom, like my husband does). To have total trust, you want your husband to come home and confide in you that his secretary gives him ” come-hither looks” (a real-life situation that happened a long time ago in my own relationship). Your husband is showing you that you are the one he cares about, not his secretary.

Now you have a choice. You can become his go-to person, his confidante and, ultimately, his best friend. If you do, you’ll create the space and level of trust for him that no one else can. His boss, co-workers, and clients each have their own agenda.

Learn about his world of business, genuinely be there for him like no one else is and consistently create a history of having his back. This way, you can make it inevitable that no other woman, no matter how young or beautiful she is can sever the bond you two have created together.

Men value loyalty more than anything else. If you keep his secrets, stay true to him and are always by his side through the many ups and downs of life, he’ll give you the world.

These are my top 5 ways to keep a man from cheating on you. They have proven to work in my own relationship for over 8 years!

Comment here and share with me your ways to prevent a man from cheating.

If you have been cheated on by a man and want to ensure it never happens again, I’ll be happy to talk with you privately. Simply reply to this email and briefly describe your specific situation and any question(s) you have. Someone from my team will reach out to schedule our one-on-one session. Hurry! I’m only offering this to the first 5 women who respond.

I look forward to hearing from you and connecting with you!