DATING

if you are like most of clients who are go-getters, get things done and, in words of one of them, “kick ass in high heels,” your masculine side most likely dominates. While it’s invaluable in situations like advancing your career or dealing with aging parents that require you to take charge, make tough decisions and push things forward, it becomes a problem in love life.

It’s a problem because strong and successful quality men don’t want to be with tough and unemotional alfa women. Men don’t want a clone of themselves.

So, how do you embrace your feminine side?

In other words, how do you connect with the softer side of yourself that connects you emotionally and sensually to men? How do you use it to develop attraction, intimacy and sexual tension with men?

Well, it starts with becoming aware of your feminine side and ways to get in touch with it. You know that you are in your feminine when you are present in the moment, enjoy spontaneity, being in touch with all of your senses and intuition. You are relaxed and comfortable with expressing your unique talents and creativity.

Sounds wonderful, right? Here are some simple and practical ways for you to embrace your feminine side:

1. Listen to your gut feeling.
When you rely on logic, you are in your masculine. Instead, connect to your own intuition. For instance, when you go on a first date, instead of running mental checklist of everything you want to see in a man, check in with your own emotions. Ask yourself how you feel about this man in front of you? Be present to that feeling —your intuition is like an internal GPS that never gets you in the wrong direction.

2. Reflect on your thoughts and experiences.
When was the last time when you wrote with a pan in your journal? I know you are so busy working, socializing and exercising that you don’t have to stop and reflect on what’s really going on inside you. If you have a coach, use him or her to reflect. If you don’t, then get a journal and explore your own emotions, thoughts and feelings through writing.

3. Let the man do the work.
Yes, you want to be on top of things and in control of things so that they get done. That’s what you are recognized and rewarded for at work. But when it comes to dating, the exact opposite approach works best. If you are the one who is pursuing a man by constantly initiating, planning, texting and following up, you aren’t allowing a man to take charge. Next time you meet a guy you like, show him you really like him through eye contact, words of appreciation or physical touch but do nothing else — let him be a man and pursue you.

4. Express yourself creatively.
It can be in a myriad of ways: dancing to awake your sensuality (from belly and pole dancing to dancing alone naked in front of the mirror). Painting, writing a novel, cooking, storytelling and taking classes where you create things with your hands are all ways to connect with your feminine side. When I was pregnant, I felt irresistible urge to be creative so I took painting classes and stated my own aromatherapy line.

5. Practice playfulness.
Don’t wait for your next vacation to be spontaneous, relaxed, playful and fun. You can be all of these things in a midst of your busy life. In fact, it’s in the times when you are over-worked and stressed that you need to reconnect to that playful and light side of yourself. Make time for yourself to do things that make your laugh and bring you joy. Go to an amusement park with your date or friends. Play beach volleyball. Try yoga on a paddle board and laugh every time you fall into water. Or take laughing yoga and laugh for no reason at all! Play with your pet. Do anything that will hep you light up and stop taking yourself and others so seriously.

You see how you can instantly apply to embrace your feminine side. Try them for a week and notice the difference in the way you feel and in how man perceive you. Bring your feminine side back to life and have fun with it.

In love and gratitude,