“You hit your set point of success,” said my performance coach during our coaching session this week.
That was her way of explaining why I suddenly slowed down in June after a particularly successful month of growing my business in May.
You see, we all have a set point of success when it comes to business or relationships.
Once you hit that point, you’re likely to slow down, stop or even sabotage something that you’ve put a lot of effort in.
It’s pretty easy to notice in business, because once you reach a certain level of revenue, you get comfortable and stop pushing yourself as hard as you used to.
But you can also stop at your set point of success in your love life. For example, like 38-year-old Amy, a client of mine, you may be very good at meeting new men, creating a great first impression and getting asked on dates. Amy is clearly successful in attracting men.
But when it comes to taking it to the next level and shifting into a committed relationship, there’s always something that gets in the way. Typically, Amy finds a specific flaw in a guy that starts driving her crazy and she ends up breaking up with him shortly after.
While she believes that the breakup was caused by his lack of understanding of global issues (interest in meditation/political debates/outdoor activities—insert any reason that isn’t a deal-breaker), the REAL reason is hitting her set point of success in dating.
So, she’s back to square one and then the entire dating cycle starts all over again. Which is exactly where her “zone of genius” (even if she says she “hates” the dating process)is, because she’s confident, competent and comfortable there.
Can you relate?
If yes, I have good news for you.
You can shift your set point of success.
You can pass through the point where you’d always stop in the past.
Just like Amy did when she joined my coaching program. She no longer dismisses great men without giving them, and, most importantly, herself, a chance to take a relationship to the next level.
In fact, currently she’s dating a great guy who has a flaw that drives her crazy (surprise!) but this time around, she has shifted her perception of him and the “issue.”
Now, she’s able to see the “big-picture vision.” She’s very attracted to this guy who treats her better than any man she dated in the past. She also recognizes that he meets the top 5 must-have non-negotiable deal-breakers.
She also has a plan of action on how to approach the “flaw” in a way that can deepen their connection and grow their relationship to the next level.
Lastly, Amy has the guidance, support and accountability from her coach that keep her on track and don’t allow her to get in her own way.
Building a relationship that lasts past a few weeks or months is new, uneasy and uncomfortable, but that’s exactly where she needs to go in order to break free from her set point and grow to the next level so that she can have the very things she’d always wanted — a loving marriage, happy family and two kids.
What’s your set point of success that you keep hitting in dating and relationships?
What’s something you haven’t been able to break through on your own so far?
If you’re serious in breaking through that set point, I’d love to support you on your journey towards creating the love of your dreams.
Just like my coach supports me in ensuring that I don’t keep myself small and continue to grow my leadership and business.