What’s really slowing you down, or even holding you back, from finding love?
Is it your age? [Too young, too old.]
Is it your city? [“No good men,” “No one wants to commit.”]
Is it your career? [Too busy, long hours at work.]
Whatever your reasons are, they are based on your beliefs about what’s true and real to you.
Notice if you’re telling yourself things like:
“I am too [fill in the blank].”
“I don’t have [fill in the blank].”
“[Fill in the blank] works for others, but not for me.”
Now look at each statement again.
Let’s say you’ve said, “I don’t have time for dating.” [One of the most common excuses.]
Is that true?
Can you absolutely know it’s true?
I bet that if you had a really good reason—a very strong WHY for finding love—you would MAKE TIME for dating.
Like Debbie, 38, a VP of Operations. She always dreamed of becoming a mother, but had been busy climbing the corporate ladder. Debbie had a “wake-up call” when her best friend since college had a miscarriage for the second time. She realized that if she continued putting her love life on hold, she might NEVER fulfill her dream of having her own family. It would be too late. Even though she had a high-pressure job, she made finding love a priority and scheduled specific times in her calendar to date online, and to go out and meet men. Three months later, she met Marc, 40, online. They fell in love. After dating for 8 months, Debbie and Marc got engaged and are now expecting!
Notice how Debbie’s external circumstances didn’t change. It was because her priorities shifted that the ending of her story is now entirely different.
From my experience working with hundreds of women, the real reason that holds them back in most cases is their MINDSET.
If you keep holding onto the same reasons or excuses or limiting beliefs that disempower you, you can’t expect different and better results.
For example, if you plan to go out tonight and think, “Oh, it’s probably going to be a waste of my time and I won’t meet anyone,” you’ve already set yourself up for failure. You will either end up staying home, or going out and experiencing exactly what you had expected to happen.
Our brains are wired in such a way that if we believe something to be true, we will look for and find the proof that matches our belief, in order to make ourselves “right.”
To break this sabotaging pattern, you must become aware of any negative self-talk.
Starting now, notice what you think about a guy you just met, a date you went on last week, or an upcoming party you’re planning to attend.
Does it serve you well?
Remember, if you don’t change your mindset, your actions don’t change, and you get the same results, or no results at all.