A few years ago I was flitting from one relationship to another and I just couldn’t for the life of me hold a relationship down. I knew it wasn’t right moving from one relationship to another, but I honestly can say I had no idea what I was doing wrong. I’m a strong woman and really focused on success. I’m a competitive woman and highly driven – something I guess comes from working in a male dominated industry.

Most of my boyfriends gave me no reason why they ended the relationship but my last boyfriend did. He told me that I was too controlling. He explained that I was argumentative to which I replied, ‘no I’m not, it’s just sometimes you don’t understand.’ I stopped and I listened to myself – I had just argued back to his argument. Men saw me as feisty and the constant bickering was a drama that could do without in their lives. I realized I had to change and met up with Polina. Polina was able to instantly tell me where I was going wrong – I emasculated men – I made them feel insecure and threatened. I was being too controlling and trying to make all the decisions based on my wants and needs without taking into consideration theirs.

Polina mirrored my behavior and I was appalled at how I came across to men and other people. I was determined to change and after a few one-on-one sessions I began to make progress. I watched my behavior and paid careful attention and if I caught myself saying something the old me would have said I counteracted it. I learned about polarity and how to allow their masculine energy to shine without me being submissive.

I have come a long way since first meeting with Polina and I’ve started dating a guy I met through a mutual friend. We haven’t had any arguments and we are a good balance for each other and we’ve been together for 4 months. I even bumped into an ex on the street a while back and we greeted each other in an amicable way and he even told me I’d changed.While I recognized the need to change I could not have done it without Polina’s support. Thank you for changing my outlook and I’m eternally grateful because if it hadn’t been for your help and support I’d still be scaring men away.

Story of Elena
Elena, 42
PR Specialist

I was bouncing from relationship to relationship and it wasn’t until my last boyfriend, who I’d considered to be a serious boyfriend broke up with and broke my heart that I knew I had to take action. I just didn’t get what had happened and to me the relationship had been going fine. Yes, we’d had some problems, but what couple doesn’t? I was so hurt when he broke up with me and I just wanted to give up and quit the whole dating scene. I felt confused and extremely frustrated with the situation and my love life – it was like I was repeating the same patterns over and over again. I began to freak out, I’d always wanted a family but I thought that I’d lost my chance when Sean broke up with me.

Polina finally made me understand that I’d been wasting my life dating the wrong kind of guys the whole time. I had a lot pre- conceived ideas about my previous relationships and I thought that because we had a lot of sexual chemistry I really believed he was my soul mate. I fell in love hard and while it’s not wrong to fall in love I finally understand I had been living in a fantasy world, which was full of lust not true love. Sean wasn’t ready to commit, he didn’t want the same things and even went as far as telling me that we’d never have a future. To say I was disappointed is an understatement. When I met Polina we went over my situation and looked at my dating history. I’d had the bad habit of falling for men who were emotionally unavailable and worst of all I was so in love with the idea of being in love, I never recognized that the men I was dating didn’t want the same thing.

She made me feel safe and secure again and gave me the confidence I needed to get back out there and date again. Polina showed me how to recognize emotionally unavailable men and to look beyond the standards I’d set. Before I’d been picky – I’d wanted certain looks, certain jobs, certain salary – I wasn’t looking for the right qualities and with Polina I learned how to use a filter system to find high quality men. Since then I’ve met Dave, he works in immigration (before I’d only wanted men who were in business).

Dave’s great, he’s funny, he’s warm and he makes me feel safe. Perhaps he’s not as tall as I would have initially preferred, but in him I have found a man who I can trust. We’ve been dating for 8 months now and I can honestly say I’ve never been happier. Thank you so much for all the support, love and guidance and introducing me to some of the best and kindest women in NYC.

story of Karina
Karina, 40
Management Consultant

I’m 33 and over the years I’ve received so many compliments from men about how fun and full of life I am. I’ve been dating for a while and there were some really great guys in my past. We’d always go out on a few dates and everything would be fine until they just called me less and less frequently and eventually disappeared. Would you believe I haven’t had a relationship that has lasted over 6 months since I was 21? I never really looked into what was going wrong because those guys had always told me I was beautiful and fun – so I just put it down to it being their problem and not mine. I thought ‘to hell with them…it’s their loss not mine”.

My late 20’s till now were spent going from boyfriend to boyfriend. I didn’t really care how long our relationship would last because I thought, “ok, whatever, next please. “As I grew older…I started to wonder. I saw my best friend fall in love and get married and I decided to do something differently. When it came to my love life I no longer wanted to have those “dead-end” dating scenarios. I wanted to find out what I did or didn’t do to create the same kind of disappointing outcomes with every man I dated. But my problem was that while I knew how to attract men, I had no idea how to keep them.

It’s been 3 months now since I started working with Polina and I can honestly say that every session has created some kind of breakthrough for me. I realized that I never really picked men based on my values and needs. It was more like a man would pick me and I would go with it regardless of whether he was right for me or not. If there was chemistry, I was open and ready to jump into a relationship. Also, I realized that I’ve been too needy and clingy with men. My constant need to control things and know what’s going on at all times has been a real turn off to men I’ve dated. I’ve made mistakes that I haven’t even realized were mistakes before. For instance, I would be the one texting and checking on a guy. I would call him when he didn’t call me when I thought he “should” call. Polina has guided me personally to shift the way I perceive men and how I come across on dates. Polina’s caring and passionate about her work and I love her enthusiasm and positive energy, not to mention her positive outlook on life in general and love. I’ve become less anxious and stressed over the last few months. I don’t allow myself to chase after men now and catch myself when I’m about to “run my old pattern” as my coach says.

The funny thing is that now a couple of those guys I’ve dated last year have re-appeared and want to get together. And, as a matter of fact, I’ve reconnected with an old friend who’d I’d never even looked at in a romantic way in the past. We’ve been friends for a few years and really “get” each other on the level that I haven’t had with any of those short-lived 6-month relationships. We are also on the same page about our future plans – he’s openly talking about wanting to have family and kids after he gets residency. We’re both from the West Coast and plan to move back. I’m seriously considering the possibility of dating him. This time I’ll make sure to avoid mistakes that I’ve made in the past.

Karen, 33
Nurse

For years I’ve been trying to figure things out on my own and do it all alone. As my girlfriends were getting into relationships, getting engaged and eventually getting married, I wondered why it wasn’t happening to me. It was during a free intro coaching session with Polina that I realized that nothing was going to change if I didn’t make a decision to invest my time, energy, focus and resources into my own love life. Signing up for Polina’s coaching program seemed to be the best fit for me. Once I started working through the program, I uncovered some of the personal blind spots that I didn’t even know about. I used to be really attracted to men who weren’t interested in me. I perceived it as a challenge and I was always the one who chased after those guys. It would take me a while to realize he wasn’t going to change and the things wouldn’t go anywhere beyond having casual sex. It was the group coaching and sharing with other women that helped me see how I was sabotaging myself. Working through this was the best thing I could have done for myself.

The guy I’m dating now is a nice guy whom I’d overlooked in the past because I didn’t feel those butterflies in my stomach the moment I met him. But, after giving him a chance and getting to know him better, I found myself really enjoying his company and the fact that he’s the one who pursues me. I feel like a desired and wanted woman – something that I haven’t felt for a very long time. Dating without drama, frustration and constant insecurities is like a breath of a fresh air I desperately needed all this time.

Irena, 38

As a person who usually needs to think things through before making any kind of a decision, I’m happy that I decided to sign up for this program right away and invest into my love life.

Being a part of the community of women who are going through the same kinds of experiences helped me see that there was nothing wrong with me. Polina’s coaching gave my self- confidence and self-esteem a huge boost. I learned how to not make the same mistake of idealizing a guy I just met and losing myself in someone who I knew almost nothing about. I learned to pace myself and I’m now dating a guy exclusively I met four months ago and he adores me! I think if I hadn’t made that decision to give coaching a try, I would still be making the same kind of mistakes and wasting my time on the wrong guys

Nancy, 41

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