Seven years ago Paul took me to the top of the Empire State Building. He told me that a new restaurant had opened up there and we just had to go. I knew something was up when we got to the 102nd floor’s tiny observatory, which wasn’t even open to the public.
“Where’s the restaurant? I’m starv…!” I stopped in mid-sentence as Paul got down on one knee in the observatory to propose to me.
It was December 1, 2009, our six-month dating anniversary. Now, seven years later, I’m taking my husband out to celebrate our engagement anniversary (who said you should only celebrate a wedding anniversary?!) to see something special (more on that next time).
But that’s not the only reason why December is a very SPECIAL month. One of my mentors told me that it’s the perfect time to create, set goals or start something new. Don’t know the mechanics of how it works, but it does—about 80% of the time.
One thing you can do this December is to create a vision board for your love life, where you put a visual representation of everything you want to have in your dream relationship.
You can do this alone, or with girlfriends. After many years, creating a vision board became a tradition. Now I host vision board parties. I used to host live workshops, renting space in corporate offices, but the “where” matters just as much as the “when.” So now I host my parties in my home, with aromatherapy, candles, and fresh flowers all around as we create our vision boards. It also gives me a reason to do something nice for my girlfriends, like making blinis (Russian-style crepes) and adding a special touch by serving them with caviar and champagne. There’s no limit to how much fun, self-expression, and creativity you can have!
Whether you create a vision board, write down your goals, or send yourself a special card with the intention you set, there are a few things you must do that almost no one talks about.
I’m excited to share these with you because they are like the missing ingredients that make the magic work.
Here you go…
Step #1: Get crystal-clear about what you want. If you read carefully, you noticed I said a vision board for your love life. Be very specific. If you want to get engaged in 2017, go to Tiffany (or any store you like), pick a diamond ring that’s “yours,” put it on your finger and take a picture of your hand with an engagement ring on it. You may want to put a date by which you’ll have it. That’s the level of specificity you want to have.
Step #2: When you look at your desire (expressed as a written intention or vision board), immerse into the feeling of what it feels like to have it already, to have your intention, your vision turn into a reality. Are you surprised, stunned, ecstatic, happy? Feel the feeling and express gratitude for attracting exactly what you desired.
Step #3: Take action. Of course, achieving your desire won’t happen if you just sit on the couch watching TV. You want to take action, but here’s something that, again, practically no one knows about: to get results, you want to do it on both levels—your “inner game” (e.g., the inside work you do on yourself) and in real life (e.g., the typical things dating experts tell you to do, like go out, meet new people, etc.)
One of my mentors shared that 16 seconds of pure thought and feeling the energy of your desire, as if it came true already, equals 100 hours of browsing online dating profiles or going out, in hopes of finding the one. Only 16 seconds of pure thought and energy! That means no self-sabotaging negative thinking along the lines of, “Who are you kidding? It hasn’t happened to you in the last [insert a number] years! What makes you think it will change now?”
Imagine if you did those 16 seconds a day consistently for the next ten days—it’s equal to 1,000 hours of the “work” doing things you’ve always done. Of course, you want to go to events you enjoy, talk to new men, flirt and go on dates. But don’t limit yourself to just “doing, doing, doing.”
Show on every level that you’re ready to have your dream manifested. An example involves an engagement ring. A couple of my girlfriends wear large rings on that finger. When I told them, “If you want to get married, take that ring off!” both countered me with, “But it isn’t an engagement ring!” Guess what? It doesn’t matter, because if that “space” is already taken, how can anything else “show up”?
If you want to learn about specific steps on how to get engaged, I’ll be hosting a free live webinar master class on January 5 (will send an invitation with all the details later) on “Ignite Your Love Life: How to Get Engaged in Six Months.” I’m so excited to share with you some juicy details that will help you attract the right man who can’t wait to propose to you.
Meanwhile, comment here and let me know how you’re going to tap into your creative power and set yourself up for success in your love life in 2017.
P.S. If you wonder what I had on the vision board that I created when I was single and dating in New York City in December 2008 (one year before Paul’s proposal), it included an image of a diamond ring next to a good-looking guy in a business suit. Needless to say, both are a part of my life now (an attorney, my husband wears suits every day). If it happened to me, it could happen for you too!