Things like spending time in nature, unplugging from technology and taking a break from the modern world are powerful ways to practice being in the present moment. But the beautiful thing about this practice is that it can be done in some really simple ways.
Why is it important to practice, and what does it have to do with dating?
You see, when you’re being completely present, you’re able to tune in the energy of another human being on a whole new level. It creates the depth of connection that everyone craves, but so many people have a hard time finding.
Here’s what inspired me to write about this..
It’s Sunday night. My husband is driving us home on the Long Island Expressway. Our son is peacefully sleeping in the back seat after playing on the beach all day. The music is off, the window is open and I feel a warm breeze on my face.
In that moment, I feel something like a craving–but it isn’t for food.
“Paul, talk to me, I just love hearing the sound of your voice,” I said.
I explained to him that it doesn’t matter what he talks about –his cases, our upcoming trip, whatever–it’s just I’m feeling this urge to hear him speak right here, right now.
As he was talking, I was completely present, taking in every word and every sound. I listened to him on many levels, picking up every detail: his assertive voice, his intellect, his New York accent and his willingness to talk despite being tired.
It was a simple moment, but I felt totally present, experiencing pure bliss just being in that car together and hearing him speak. Everything felt whole, perfect and complete. And I was overflowing with a sense of deepest appreciation for having this moment, for having Paul by my side, for our family and everything we’ve created so far.
It was one of those moments I’ll remember decades from now.
No exotic vacation, fancy date, expensive gift or OMG effort required. Just what is.
That’s the power of being in the present moment.
You connect to your feelings.
You connect to another human being.
You feel blissful and alive.
So, how do you get so present in the moment that you experience happiness, gratitude, joy and other feelings that matter to you?
Well, first of all, it starts with a realization that it doesn’t have to be a special place or event or time. It can be any moment, just like driving home on a Sunday night.
Second, you want to connect to what you’re feeling in the moment. It could be a sudden desire to say something, or to be silent. Instead of dismissing it and getting distracted, check in with yourself and get curious about it.
Third, suspend fear-based thinking and open up about what you’re experiencing or feeling. It’s easy to listen to that voice in your head that judges, criticizes, worries and over analyzes things like:
“What will he think about me?”
“What if he doesn’t _______?”
But what takes courage is to open up and be vulnerable about your needs and desires. You can simply say something like:
“What I’m feeling right now is…”
“What I’d really love right now is…”
When you do express yourself in this way, you’ll be learning a lot in a short time about the man you’re with.
But, most importantly, you get to be YOU — open, real, and present.
Let me know what helps you to be in the present moment when you’re with a man. I’ll share it with our community when I get back.